we are children under the moon

a new year approaching and i am sitting here in my new location eating granola and yogurt on a sunny day feeling good, trying to eat good, trying to think good so that this coming 12 months will be better and brighter than the past 12. Shannon just told me that I can feel as sad, regretful or whatever I want about the past year, but only for another 3 days. I don't want to feel bad about anything I've ever done, but this year has definitely gotten to me. I have to clear it out, make a list and burn it on a blue moon. A new year's blue moon, it seems like the start to what may be a very very special year. Let's hope we can all just put all the negativity behind us and start our habits, lifestyles and mindsets anew. I've never felt so in need of the new year. I'm waiting for it as though it is representing my passage into everything I have had tried to change on my own up to this point. I am on the west coast. I am trying to finally grow up in all of the ways I have been putting aside my entire childhood in fear of growing up too much and loosing myself. But now I know that I am myself no matter what and growing up is just part of me and who I want to be. It will all work out, in the meantime I need to work on my costume for the Mad Hatter's Ball. I need to work with my hands more, it is one of my few pleasures in life.