1 22 09

it is literally freezing and i suddenly find myself in a dive bar in Atlanta where they dont i.d.
ELMYR.
I wanted coffee, but they were out and the coffee place next door just closed. I went back into the bar and told the bartender "No coffee. I need whiskey." He took a shot with me.
I only slept for two or so hours last night, until 7 am I was absorbed in tearful conversations over bottle after bottle of beer. I woke up, went to the lawyers office. accidentally (but perfectly) returned Ben's phone call at 12:34 pm right after he predicted it coming. He sat on the beach, in his car eating a sandwich (ha) and his fingers were covered in oil.
we talked until I went to class. I cried all night over him.
I focused the entire time I was in class.
I got my paycheck and before I left Connie asked "What are you going to do now Amada?"
I said "that's the question I always seem to be asking myself." And i thought about that.
i wanted to drive, so i did. 222 west.
i made a wish and headed west on my lucky road. then i got to 75 and decided to fill up my tank with gas and my tires full of air. and i went north. and now i am in atlanta. completely cold and completely alone. i am weary and still dreaming?